June Wrap-up: I turned Thirty

Well, June was a rollercoaster filled with ups and downs. I went into the month excited because it was my birthday month and I had big plans for the special day. But that all came crashing down because of work. In last month’s recap, I talked about how I was going to work as a temp employee. The plan was that I’d work there for eight days then have a few weeks before returning back. But since I’m a “good” employee, they kept me on longer. So all the plans and goals I’d made for June went out the window. 

Mental Health > Paycheck

I spent the first week of June working. On election day I worked from 5 am to 8:40 pm. That day I woke up at 2 am so that I could get a workout in before work. Then the rest of the week I worked from 8 am to 5 pm. I was exhausted, but what kept me going was that I only had to get through the week, and then I had a few weeks to rest before returning. 

As someone who’s coping with a mental illness, living a healthy lifestyle is something that’s very important to me. If I don’t take care of my well-being I can’t be the best version of me. And since I was spending a lot of time at work I wasn’t able to do so and my mental health started to suffer. I was so overwhelmed trying to juggle everything that I started to become depressed. Then with the weight of current events, I sunk even deeper into depression. 

Even though I was depressed and overwhelmed I tried to stay positive and focus on the fact that the situation was only temporary. But all that soon changed. I’m a people pleaser and I struggle with saying no. So when I’m working I’ll do anything and my employer says even if I don’t want to or can’t. And most employers consider that a trait of a “good” employee, so my assignment ended up being extended.  

I don’t enjoy working at my temp job at all. It’s extremely boring, you sit there for eight hours doing the same task over and over again. As someone who’s creative and active being there drives me insane. Because I’m not able to play into my strengths. It doesn’t offer any type of challenge or growth. And that’s not the type of employment I’m seeking. 

For the time being, I’m going to continue work there as a temporary employee and work on saying no and standing up for myself. My mental health is more important than a paycheck, and if I have to stay there longer. I’m not going to let them stand in the way of me doing what I need to take care of myself. 

In other news

Needless to say, my month got off to a rough start. While working I tried to make time for my hobbies. Saturdays are the only day I have for myself. I bought some remnants and planned to make two cosplays. I’ll be building Raisel from Delta Rune and Reese from Animal Crossing. I finished my Muse from Hercules cosplay, but I haven’t taken any photos yet. Outside of working on cosplays, I ventured out into the world again. A lot of places in my state are starting to open back up. So on a very hot Saturday, I went to the Iron District to try a couple of new restaurants. 

Iron District 

When I go to the Iron District I usually eat at Kind Food. I love their nachos, so I don’t mind eating there. But while scrolling through Facebook, I found out that two new restaurants had opened in the Iron District. Thaiger Night Market a Thai restaurant and  Sno Buh, Ice Cream Bae’s new concept. So one a very hot Saturday, I went to the Iron District to try both. 

Happy Birthday to me!

On my actual birthday, I spent most of the day at work. So I didn’t get to celebrate until Saturday. I started the day by journaling and looking back at how I’ve grown over the years, and where I see myself in the future. Then I went for a nature walk before it got too hot to enjoy being outside.

Afterward, I took a shower and chilled on the couch for a while. I don’t have any friends or family where I live. So I spend a lot of time alone. And I started to feel sad since I didn’t have anyone to hang out with. So I ended up going out for some retail therapy and got my free burger from Red Robin. My birthday wasn’t anything special, but I did enjoy it. It got me thinking about if I’ll continue to stay in Kansas City or move somewhere else, and what I can do to make friends. So hopefully things will be different. 

No Social Media 

For most of June, I took a break from social media. I deleted Instagram and Twitter off my phone. I’m not a fan of social media and sometimes it’s overwhelming. So I took the time away from it to decide how I’m going to approach it from now on. I decided to be less active on Instagram and invest in a Planoly plan, that way I can schedule everything and check my account once or twice a week instead of daily. I’m going to try that for a month, and make adjustments until I find something that works for me. As far as Twitter, I’ll be doing the same, and use Tweet Deck to schedule tweets. Hopefully, I can find a balance with social media so I don’t feel overwhelmed by it. 

July Goals 

For July I’m keeping the same goals I had for June since I didn’t get to them, and I’m adding weekly self-care to my goals. In order to keep a positive and healthy mindset while working. Even though June didn’t go as planned, July is a new month and a fresh start. And I’m ready to see what it has in store. 

Related post: May 2020 Warp-up: The Month Flew by