How to Quiet Negative self-talk

The way we talk to ourselves makes a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves. We all have an inner voice, and at times it can be helpful by encouraging us to reach our goals or warn us before making a bad decision. This kind of inner dialogue is called positive self-talk. Even though our inner voice is helpful, it also can often be more harmful than helpful when it gets into the realm of excessive negativity. Better known as negative self-talk and is harmful to our mental health. It’s something that most of us experience from time to time, and it comes in many forms creating stress in our lives. Now that we know the two types of self-talk. Let’s take a closer look at the differences.

Negative Self-talk vs. Positive Self-talk

Self-talk is your internal dialogue influenced by your subconscious mind. As mentioned previously, self-talk can be both positive and negative.

Positive self-talk makes you feel good about yourself and things in your life. It’s an optimistic voice that’s always looking on the bright side. An example of positive self-talk is ‘things aren’t going great right now, but they could be worse.’

Negative self-talk makes you feel bad about yourself and the things in your life. It’s a pessimistic voice that’s always seeing the worst in things and can put you in a downer even when something is good. An example of negative self-talk is ‘nothing is ever going to get better.’

Unlike positive self-talk, negative self-talk tends to make people feel miserable and take a toll on their mental health. There are far more benefits to positive self-talk than negative self-talk.

Benefits of Positive Self-talk

When it comes to negative self-talk, we focus on our weaknesses and the negatives. So when that negative voice takes over, our self-esteem suffers. The more you tell yourself you’re not good enough, the more you start to believe it. But when we speak to ourselves with compassion, our confidence rises, and we become happier. Positive self-talk helps us believe in ourselves, so we can do better and keep moving forward.

Practicing positive self-talk and having a positive outlook on life will benefit you far more than negative self-talk. Here are a few benefits that positive self-talk can provide.

• Reduces stress
• Boost confidence
• Improve performance
• Increase happiness
• Improve immune function
• Better cope with stress anxiety

Positive self-talk comes naturally to some, but others need to learn how to cultivate positive thinking and ditch the negative thoughts. It’s a challenging task at first, but with practice, it’ll become natural to focus on the positives. So here’s how to kick negative self-talk and replace it with positive self-talk.

How to kick Negative Self-Talk

Awareness

The first step toward kicking negative self-talk is paying attention to what’s going on in your head. We tend to say things out of habit and our subconscious just processes it. So keep a journal and make a list of your thought patterns. Then think it through and ask yourself the following questions:

• Am I guessing how they’ll react? Mind reading? Or assuming other’s beliefs or feelings?
• How accurate are these thoughts?
• Am I being too harsh on myself? Would I talk to a friend this way?
• Is this an all or nothing thought? Am I viewing it as good or bad without considering that the answer may lie between the two?
• Am I coming to a conclusion solely on my opinion and experiences or facts?

Once you have a better idea of your thought pattern, it’s time to challenge those thoughts and develop a new approach to self-talk.

Challenge

When challenging your thoughts, it’s important to remember that not all of your thoughts are true. Take a look at the list you made of your thoughts, and create a space between you and your reaction. Don’t accept those thoughts because your mind goes there, and remember your thoughts don’t define you. Reword the thoughts on the list in a kinder, positive light. If you find yourself having a hard time believing the positive, start with being neutral and realistic with yourself. And remind yourself, setbacks and mistakes are normal, so reflect on what you can do next time to improve.

Disrupt old Thought Pattern

In bringing awareness to your thoughts, you’re able to notice patterns in your thinking and pick up on triggers that provoke negative thoughts. To avoid falling back into old habits, disrupt your old thought pattern by choosing to change your perspective negative one to a positive one. For example, change ‘I never do anything right,’ into ‘I can do anything I set my mind to,’ and ask yourself what you can do to get it right.

Environment

The energy our environment brings us can impact the way we talk to ourselves. When you’re surrounded by clutter, negative people, and fear-based news you’re constantly being reminded of negativity.

Here are a few easy ways to reduce the negative energy in your environment:

• Declutter
• Cut back on social media
• Surround yourself with positive people who encourage and support you

Sometimes separating ourselves from negativity is out of our control. You may work in a toxic work environment or have close friends and family that are negative. When faced with these challenges, the best thing you can do is prepare yourself mentally to not let their negative energy affect you. Lead by example and remind yourself that positive energy will always trump negative energy, and you have the power to choose what thoughts you let in.

Practice it Daily

The truth is that no matter how hard we try not to we all feel negative emotions. So practicing positive self-talk doesn’t mean that negative thoughts will disappear and never cross your mind again. It means you’ll be able to recognize it and move past them much easier. We’ve all been talking to ourselves a certain way our whole lives. So those negative recurring thoughts that affect us emotionally are there because we repeated them to ourselves until they became beliefs we accepted as true. We can use that same thought process to create positive self-talk and beliefs. You may not believe it right away, but by repeating positive thoughts, you’ll develop a kinder way to talk to yourself.

Our thoughts have so much power in how we feel, and once we learn to listen to our thoughts and make changes so they don’t negatively affect us. We start taking steps toward living a happier life with less stress. What are some ways you silence your inner critic?

Related post: Developing a Growth Mindset

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