Settling in and Valentine’s Day

I’ve been in Denver for almost two months now, and it’s starting to get into the swing of things. I’m still doing well in school and learning a lot in both classes. I also started a new job that I’m enjoying. I’m finally unpacked and got my apartment together. It’s nice to not having boxes all over the place. Up until now, I’ve been feeling out of place. I couldn’t find half my stuff, I didn’t know my way around the city, and wasn’t on track with stuff. Now that I’m all moved in settled, things are starting to fall into place and I’m not as stressed out. In February, I enjoyed a great solo Valentine’s Day and experienced some of the downsides of living in the city. I also made plans for March.

Single Valentine’s Day

Being single isn’t something that bothers me. I’ve got a good thing with me and I enjoy my own company. I settled in the past for less and ended up in a terrible relationship for years. Back then I didn’t know my worth, I didn’t think I was worthy of love because of my mental illness. So I accepted less than what I deserve.

My ex-husband every year for Valentine’s would do the same thing, the day afterward he would get me a box of chocolate, a stuffed animal, and a card. While I would put a lot of effort in to put together something nice for. One year I did a scavenger hunt, he had to find clues and his prize at the end was his gift. I never felt like he really cared not just on Valentine’s Day but every day. He only did things on Holidays or my birthday. Outside of that, I was invisible I’d have to beg him to spend time with me.

In hindsight I know I didn’t deserve that, no one does. We all deserve to feel loved in relationships and to have our partners treat us with respect. Since my divorce, I’ve been putting in more of an effort to celebrate myself. To show me the love I deserve. Because if I don’t love and respect myself I can’t expect anyone else to. My ex-husband didn’t give me the love I deserve, so I’m going to give it to myself.

So this year for Valentine’s I celebrated the way I wanted. I worked the day prior, and it was in the single digits.  So I used it as a self-care day. Before Valentine’s Day, I bought myself a nice box of chocolates. I spent the day warm in my bed scrolling through YouTube and TikTok. It was much, but much relaxation after a busy week. The day after Valentine’s Day it was warmer out so I went out to lunch and had a delicious meal at a local sushi restaurant. Afterward, I watched Pride and Prejudice and worked on my homework for the week.

My Valentine’s Day may not be much to some, but I felt special and loved by myself. It’s a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time on Valentine’s Day. Moving forward I’ve set aside Sundays and my date day. Doesn’t matter if I have the day off or not I want to make each Sunday a day where I focus on myself. I’m someone who’s always putting others before themselves so part of my goals for the year. I want to be nicer to myself and do more for myself.

The downside to city Living

While I do love living in the city it does have its downside. It’s loud on the weekends. Typically on Friday and Saturdays, I’m woken up in the middle of the night by sirens, my neighbors partying, or someone outside. It’s something that’s starting to get on my nerves. Last month I had some banging on my window, I decided to pretend I wasn’t home, and hopefully, they’d go away, but they didn’t. They went to other windows but came back to mine. Then tried to get in, I called the police and he was escorted off the property.

My lease isn’t up for a while and I’m faced with the decision to stay in the city or move out to the suburbs. Though living in the city does have its downsides it does have its perks. I like being able to walk everywhere and I’m close to campus. I’m not sure if I’ll continue to stay in Denver or move outside of it. It depends on if things get worse or stay about the same.

March Plans

I’m excited about March because of spring break. I get a little break from school. Originally I was going to go to Michigan to visit my family, but I’m going to hold off that for now.  I don’t want to do any traveling until I’m able to get the COVID vaccine. Instead of traveling to Michigan, I’m planning on going hiking. I hoping winter weather will be behind us, and we’ll have nice weather for outdoor activities. I’m also going to decide if I’m going to take summer classes or not. The funds have already been approved for it, but I kind of want to take the summer to explore Colorado and take a break from school.

Related post: A new year in a New Place